On the Superiority of Thanksgiving

And a search for "monkey eating turkey" results in....
While I'm moments away from solving a number of the great mysteries of consciousness, I feel it is timely that a thorough analysis of holiday strengths and weaknesses was performed. 

Via this process (which was thorough indeed, but I won't bore you with the details) I have concluded that Thanksgiving is unquestionably the superior holiday, especially as it relates to brain function.  This conclusion stems from the characteristics of the Thanksgiving holiday that I refer to as the three F's: frugality, football, and food.  Each F significantly reduces cognitive load.  In this way, Thanksgiving has the unique ability to literally rebuild the brain (that's my professional opinion).

Frugality: Oh, presents.  Christmas and similar holidays have a central element of gift-giving.  But this activity is too emotionally demanding.  How much money? Who got what? To regift or not to regift?  When one is in a state of leisure, these stressful decisions are to be eschewed.  In this regard, Thanksgiving takes the lead over all gift-focused holidays.

Football:  Oh, mindless aggression.  Football has a direct hotline to the primal, "reptilian" regions of the brain.  In this way, it spares the higher cognitive brain regions, like my favorite the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, from excessive effort.  By doing so, football provides the brain with the vacation it deserves.

Food: The brain is an organ.  It is made of protein, fat, PUFAs, MUFAs, cholesterol, etc.  Also, it is a hungry hunk of meat, consuming a reported ~20% of the body's energy (although, I haven't confirmed the calculations...).  Thus, Thanksgiving scratches the brain right where it itches.  Turkey? Boom.  Tubers? Pow.  The brain needs fuel and raw materials.  Thanksgiving gets er' done.

QED.  I think the case is closed, don't you think?  When it comes to brain happiness, and my happiness, Thanksgiving wins the ribbon.  So, I send out a thanks for Thanksgiving... A meta-thanks, if you will? Thank you, Thanksgiving.  Thank you for making my brain happy.

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