The Mental Reboot Script

Time to reboot.

There's no way around it - the grind has been grinding you down.  You're tired, you're stressed, your motivation is low.  Sometimes life can be really tough and, lately, life has been really tough.

But bad times ebb and flow, come and go.  Sometimes things are tough, other times things are great.  Perhaps the tough times seem to happen more than the good times, but it's hard to know for sure.  When you're stressed it's difficult to keep perspective.

Situations can change though, and situations change faster if you make an effort to move forward, to make progress.  Who cares if you only make a little change today for the better?  At least it's a step in the right direction.  One small change to make life better is all you need to feel some hope.  Who knows?  Maybe this is the beginning of a period of incredible success.  Until you get started, you'll never know.

So get focused.  Don't let all the nagging stressors creep into your mind all at once.  You can only do one thing at a time.  Just pick something to do that would make a difference in your life and start working on it.  Pick something small, manageable and doable and just get it done.  No more worrying about picking the perfect thing to do, just trust your instincts and make progress.  Block out all other intruding worries and attack that one thing that will make you feel the most accomplished.

Oh, and please? Give yourself a break when you're done?  In order to make real, lasting progress you're going to want to stick to your goals.  Most things that need to be done take some time to happen, so let's not burn out.  After a full day of focused effort, you deserve to relax, rest and recover.  Your brain is an organ and a day of hard work is like a mental workout: you need some recovery time to be ready for the next day.

And while we're on the topic, don't lose sight of all the good stuff you have going on.  There are things that bring you joy even if they are little, simple things like McDonald's breakfast sandwiches.  Look around and remind yourself about a few things that make life fun and enjoyable.

Feeling better?  Good.  But, don't beat yourself up about getting down in the dumps from time to time.  It happens to everyone.  The important thing is to keep an eye on those nasty thoughts and be sure to reboot when things get out of hand.

7 Free Guided Relaxation Sessions

Just relax.

When work and life stress increases, I tend to get into a state of feeling like I always have to be "on".  It's at these times, when things get really complicated, that I find it hard to know when it's O.K. to relax, unwind and let go of all the worries.

When I'm "on", the last thing I can do is relax.  I'm just too jacked up on an adrenaline-laced need to get shit done that when I sit down and try to unwind, I end up getting more frustrated because I just can't come down.  More frustration and I'm even less likely to relax: the stress goes through the roof.

For me, I've found that relying on guided meditations increases the likelihood that I'll be able to relax successfully, because it takes the pressure off of me to think about how to relax: someone has done all the work for me.  I highly recommend using guided relaxation sessions, especially when you're really having a hard time calming down.

I've personally listened to the following free, guided meditations and can vouch for the quality.  I also selected the following because they promote many of the concepts outlined in The Relaxation Response, a classic in the science of relaxation, especially passiveness and a focus on breathing.

Try them out!  I always feel so relaxed after doing any of these.  Hopefully you'll find they work for you.

From Diana Winston of the UCLA's Mindful Awareness Research Center:
1. 19 minutes - Mindful meditation with instructions
2. 12 minutes - Body, breath and sound mindfulness
3. 7 minutes - Meditation for working with difficulties
4. 10 minutes - Empathy and compassion

From Duke University's Student Health Resources:
1. 19 minutes - Progressive deep muscle relaxation
2. 20 minutes - Basic meditation exercise
3. 10 minutes - Quick, relaxing meditation

Pessimism now, optimism later

Optimism and pessimism aren't
exclusive: it's all about timing.

My homunculus admitted to me that I've been confusing him.

On the one hand, I've been saying that optimism is critical for performance: if we get all pessimistic, we give up prematurely and don't invest the time to achieve our goals.

On the other hand, it's also critical to acknowledge our failures.  If we don't embrace our weak points and bury our head in the sand, we won't get any better at life.

Vexing isn't it?  The optimism thing was particularly hard for the rational part of my brain to embrace: I didn't like the idea of externalizing too many of the bad things that happened to me.  That felt like I was avoiding responsibility for my actions.  Also, as a total control freak, it didn't sit well to think that I couldn't influence most things in my life for the better.

But, luckily, I had a real a-ha moment.  Accepting our failures and being optimistic are not mutually exclusive.  Instead, it's all about timing.

Specifically, it is a fact that no one is perfect.  Life isn't perfect.  Actually, sometimes life can really suck.  Furthermore, none of us and none of our lives will ever be perfect. Debby-downer.

However, this doesn't mean that we can't get better and that our lives can't get better.  Just because we have aspects of our lives that are imperfect doesn't mean that, with time, we can't improve.

This is the way to reconcile our weak points with the need to remain optimistic.  Right now, in the present, we should be realistic about where we stand and acknowledge what sucks.  At the same time, we can remember that the bad doesn't have to last forever.  In the future, things can get better.  Combining these two attitudes - pessimism for now, optimism for later - is the formula for lasting, long-term progress.